


All I know.

by fxlminare



Series: BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [81]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy Blake Has Feelings, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Grounder reader - Freeform, Mutual Pining, POV Bellamy Blake, The 100 (TV) Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27415531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare
Summary: "Bellamy imagine in which the reader is from Floukru but she leaves with Clarke, Bellamy, and the others to fight against Allie and to get revenge on Pike because she was Lincoln's friend and then her and Bellamy end up falling in love."
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Reader
Series: BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [81]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110968
Kudos: 5





	All I know.

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning?** some changes to the show's plot to fit this.

**YOUR POV**

I had been with Luna for well over 5 years now, finding her clan when I was 17 and not wanting anything to do with the constant fight of my people; she showed me a way to live, a way in which peace was a rule and we weren't fighting for anything or defending ourselves constantly. I had only kept contact with Lincoln, my friend from childhood and from whom I hadn't heard in a while now and it all made sense as Skaikru came to our rig, meeting Octavia -from whom Lincoln had only good things to say every time we met- Bellamy, Clarke, and Jasper, saying we had to fight, that the needed Luna to take the Flame... a lot of things I never thought I'd hear and some making little to no sense.

\- "Okay." -I pulled Octavia with me after Luna left them, saying she wanted no part in this- "But where's Lincoln?"

\- "You knew him?"

\- "Yeah, we've been friends since... I don't know... forever." -I eyed her, wondering what was going on.

\- "You're Y/N."

\- "Yeah, so he told you about me." -I chuckled- "Then where's that big bad wolf with a heart of gold, huh? Back at... Arkadia, you called it?"

\- "He's dead."

My brain shut off as I heard her, unable to say a single word, unable to move or think or... anything; it was good that breathing was something the body did automatically or I'd have suffocated. Lincoln... dead? No, it couldn't be. He was a great fighter, no one better than him, definitively not me after my years of peaceful living. No, she must've gotten it wrong. But, as I looked into her eyes, the eyes of the person I knew Lincoln had loved deeply, I knew she was being honest; I saw it in the anger behind her eyes, her tough demeanor, her need to leave this place, the tears forming in her eyes but that she was trying really hard not to spill.

\- "How."

\- "Shot in the head."

\- "Is..." -I clenched my jaw, feeling all the anger I had carefully learned to manage after all these years coming back to the surface- "who did it? Are they alive?"

\- "Not for much longer."

\- "I wanna see them." -I stood up- "I'm coming with you."

\- "Alie..."

\- "I'll help you." -I rubbed my nose- "And then I want to watch that person die a painful death."

\- "But your life here... peace?" -the guy she called Jasper came to us.

\- "I know the ways of war, it was my life until I gave it up." -I looked at him, walking with Octavia back to her group- "Lincoln was my brother and I'll go to war for him. Or in his name. And we'll end this."

\- "What about your soul?" -Jasper questioned again- "Luna said you came here because you wanted to heal; if you go back... you could not come back."

\- "Then, I don't come back."

**\-----------------------**

**BELLAMY'S POV**

I wasn't sure if Y/N would be of any help, considering how these people walked around like they had nothing to worry about and carried no weapons; I'd have bet they didn't know how to use them but Y/N quickly corrected me as we were getting back to Arkadia and we ran into chipped Grounders, Octavia and her jumping down from the Rover before we could say anything, watching as they murdered them without a struggle. Y/N was... amazing. I just regretted we had met under these circumstances.

As we traveled through the forest, she told us, or more so, Octavia, about Lincoln when they were younger, how they grew up together, how they trained together right until the time he found the man from the Ark, how they were forced apart after that but always met after dark, how she realized she couldn't keep doing just war and anger all her life and decided to let go, how Lincoln took her to Luna's rig and how she learned to be at peace with her past, how she still met Lincoln every 15 days at the beach, meeting like time hadn't passed, putting each other up to date, how she was convinced Lincoln would join them there one day, how she wanted her brother to be at peace. She made a pause as she smiled.

\- "The day he told me about you I thought he was insane."

\- "He did?"

\- "He also told me about your brother and that time I was really close to getting out of the rig to come and find you." -she looked up at me- "I bear no ill will against you tho, we kept meeting right up until you went to war with Mount Weather and then I got some notes from him from time to time, so I know you became friends in the end."

\- "We did."

\- "And now he's dead because of Pike."

\- "And we'll get to him before the Commander does."

It turned out that Y/N had a plan of her own for Pike, a plan Octavia was more than willing to cooperate on if it got her to kill Pike; I couldn't say I agreed but I'd be foolish to stand in their way. I was still trying to right my wrongs but a part of me still thought the Grounders were dangerous. However, the more time I spent with Y/N, the more I realized I might have been wrong; yeah, I had been with Lincoln for months, but never that long in a row, ending up spending days and nights with Y/N as we moved back to Polis slowly after having left Arkadia and Jasper with Raven and Monty so they could do their part of the plan we had come up with Roan. We had found him as we made a pause on our way to recharge the Rover; Y/N had been quick to put a blade to his neck, which did make me like her more, for the Ice King was the last person I ever wanted to be friends with. But, it turned out, we needed him to get into Polis.

The plan was simple: Jasper, Raven, and Monty stayed back to get into Allie's main code from the ship while we moved to Polis, Roan would go with Clarke into the city, pretending to have captured her as a prisoner, going to offer Ontari the Flame so that Azgeda had a Commander while the rest of us hid in the tunnels, waiting for Ontari to show up and kill her. But nothing went according to said plan. One of us must have been chipped for they knew all we had planned, running into an ambush and being captured as Roan was shot and Clarke taken into the Tower. We fought, Y/N and I managing to kill a couple of chipped but they were too many, finally overpowering us and taking us to the cells through the tunnels.

\- "Now what?"

\- "I... I don't know."

\- "We have to think of something." -Y/N paced the cell- "They might have one collective brain but that doesn't make them smarter."

\- "It...does." -Miller whispered, I wasn't sure if afraid of Y/N or of saying it out loud as if that made it any truer.

\- "Well, with that attitude we won't get anywhere."

And she was right; we couldn't give up now, we had to do something. We were brainstorming when the chipped came for us again, not saying anything as they tied our hands and pulled us out of the cell, looking around for a way out, seeing Y/N walking in front of me and I could tell she was doing just the same.

\- "I'd suggest dropping low."

\- "Murphy?"

\- "I won't say it again."

I wasn't sure what was happening, but I yelled at everyone to drop to the floor, pulling Y/N with me as the chipped had freed us to get their guns, covering our heads as I heard the shoots, having no clue what was happening.

\- "Who's that?"

\- "Murphy."

\- "Just because Lincoln told me about you doesn't mean I know all your people."

I chuckled as we moved to sit up, seeing Murphy coming towards me and freeing my hands, asking who I was with, introducing them as he freed her hands, and then went to help the rest. I stood up, seeing Indra walking towards us; I could tell she was going after Octavia until she saw Y/N.

\- "Y/N?"

\- "I'm alive, yes."

\- "What made you come out of retirement?" -Indra smiled as they shook hands.

\- "Lincoln." -Y/N looked at the floor- "I should've been there."

\- "I don't think that'd have mattered."

\- "I'm here to help Octavia make it right."

\- "Make what right?"

My blood froze as I heard Pike behind me, turning to look at him, not having expected to see him again, not alive at least. He greeted me, called me son, and the next thing I knew, he was on the floor with Y/N's boot on his neck.

\- "You." -she pressed harder.

\- "Y/N, wait." -I tried to pull her back.

\- "You were with him?" -she screamed at me- "You!"

Before I could explain anything else, Indra pulled her back before Octavia got to them, telling them something in Trig that seemed to make them calm down just a bit, Y/N saying something else before moving away through the tunnel, but she couldn't leave, she'd be in danger out there; I couldn't let her. So I went after her as the rest spoke about the new plan. I knew I was risking... well, her killing me but who I had been at that time was not who I was now and I needed her to know that I... cared.

\- "Y/N, wait."

\- "Get away from me."

\- "Let me explain."

\- "Lincoln is dead by the hand of a man that called you son?" -she turned around, facing me with such anger in her eyes, jaw tight and fists clenched- "I..."

\- "It's just something he says, he isn't really my father."

\- "But she sees you as a son." -she shook her head- "You must have something in common for that and, to be honest with you, I don't think I can be anywhere near you right now knowing that."

\- "I admit I've done things wrong; I feared you, your people... I thought they'd hurt mine."

\- "So you hurt them first instead? And that got Lincoln murdered." -she took in a deep breath, looking behind me for a second- "I need to know where you stand right now. Do you see me, my people, as just people? As allies? Friends? Or a threat?"

\- "You're people defending your own."

\- "I don't think that's enough."

**\-----------**

**YOUR POV**

Seeing that man there, it tugged on every last bit of anger I had inside me, I wanted to rip his skin off and torture him until he bled out in the most painful way I could think of. I had no clue how Indra had come to be by his side but she kept saying we needed his help and I'd have rather die than go anywhere next to him. And then... Bellamy. I had started to see them all as friends after that many days around them, knowing Lincoln trusted them, but this? How could someone side with such an excuse for a human being? How could I be anywhere close to him knowing now what I knew? Octavia had told me about it and I thought I could move past it like she was trying to do but seeing them together, how that murdered patted his shoulder and called him son... I wanted to break Bellamy's nose. Something in his demeanor told me he'd have let me. And that's what made me stay, the fact that he truly seemed to regret have followed that man.

\- "Lincoln was my friend, Y/N; I think we could be too if we get out of this one."

\- "You know I'm not letting that man live any more than he needs to."

\- "And I'm not going to stop you."

\- "I need to know you're on the right side. He isn't. He'll never be."

\- "I know; I know that now and I can't bring Lincoln back but I can make sure what he taught us, what he taught me, lives on."

\- "And what was that?"

\- "That we aren't so different." -he took a step towards me- "Grounder or Skaikru, we're all people trying to keep our people safe."

\- "Maybe, one day, we'll all be just one people."

\- "Maybe." -he nodded, looking behind him as the guy he called Murphy called him- "Are you with me?"

\- "I'm with the right side."

I walked past him towards the group, Indra quickly putting me up to date on the plan, offering me her blade for I had no clue how to use the Skaikru weapons, glaring at the murderer for I refused to learn his name, walking past him to lead the group, promising not to kill anyone that wasn't a necessity in our way, managing just fine, almost next to the elevator when two Sangedakru came our way; I had it, I knew I had it and then I heard two small explosions and pain on my left arm, holding it and seeing my blood, turning around to see the murdered pointing his weapon at me.

\- "Hey, what the hell?" -Bellamy pushed past him, coming towards me- "You shot her!"

\- "They were in our way and she got in the middle."

\- "I had it."

\- "You certainly did."

I heard the condescending tone, the mockery, and disgust in his voice; I knew he hated us, only a man so disgusting could have ended with Lincoln in such an ignoble way. I tried to calm down because I knew I'd jump on him and rip his eyes off if I didn't, but I had promised Indra to stay calm, I had promised Octavia his death was hers but his eyes on me were making it hard. Really hard.

\- "Yu wamplei na laufou." [Your death will be painful.]

\- "Speak English so I can answer."

\- "Educate yourself if you truly want to be superior because from where I'm standing, you're just a sad little scared man."

\- "And you're..."

\- "Enough!"

After Bellamy got in the middle, I moved away towards the elevator, not needing any more of that bullshit in my life. Bellamy could do whatever he wanted but I didn't need his help or protection. And I knew he knew.

**\------------------------**

**BELLAMY'S POV**

Pike was clearly out of his mind; or, more possibly, he had always been and I had been too afraid to see it, too afraid to admit I was terrified for our future and just wanted someone with clear ideas to take over. I had chosen the wrong person to follow. I knew that now. Just like I knew Y/N could have murdered him where he stood but chose not to, going back to her after I screamed at Pike, checking her arm.

\- "It's just a superficial wound, the bullet just grazed your skin."

\- "If I had gone after the guy on the left first, I'd be dead because that man is afraid."

\- "I'm sorry, I... I should've..."

\- "Don't be sorry. I've always known I'd die in battle; being with Luna just made me live longer."

\- "Y/N, you don't have to die today."

\- "Maybe tomorrow, if your people can't live with mine."

\- "We'll make it work." -I looked into her eyes, I wanted her to believe me, I wanted to believe it too.

\- "Not all your people can be that bad."

\- "They're not." -I smiled as she did.

\- "I guess, we could say, he'd be the Azgeda of your people."

\- "I guess you could."

It had been somewhat of a reassuring talk, not speaking much more with her as we moved on with our plan, following her up the stairs of the elevator, finding Clarke in the upper level in the throne room and Abby being hung, rushing to help her. It was all a mess. And we had to keep working fast, Clarke and Abby coming up with a plan to get rid of Allie from the root without Ontari, who was laying brain dead in front of us.

\- "So much for tradition." -Y/N stood next to Ontari as Abby got Clarke ready- "Poor thing, she's a child."

\- "You don't..." -I wasn't sure how to put it not to offend anyone, glancing at her.

\- "No. Not much anyway." -luckily, she understood- "Luna ran away from that, I understand why; I left because I didn't want to fight a war that wasn't my own."

\- "But you're here."

\- "Because of Lincoln, not for a Commander."

I nodded, squeezing her shoulder before I realized she still had that open wound from the bullet but she was quick to brush it off, saying we were about to be in more trouble than that scratch could cause her. I knew it was serious but the way in which she spoke made me laugh, even if for only just a second before we had to move back to the door and get ready to fight. I could see the way in which she looked at Pike; I wasn't sure how this would end but I hoped it'd be with us alive.

It was hard, the fight, trying to keep the chipped from getting to us, to Clarke while she was in the City of Light, fighting them but not able to kill them for we all knew they were just being controlled and killing them was not the answer but they also couldn't really get tired and they were many more than us, struggling to fight through them as they started coming in through the balcony too.

\- "I got the balcony!"

\- "You sure?"

\- "Yeah."

\- "I'll help her."

Octavia and Y/N moved to the balcony and I was ashamed to admit I'd rather not know how they were going to stop the chipped from coming through there but I had to focus on the ones coming at me from the front door.

I wasn't sure for how long we fought them, or how many of them were still coming our way when it all... stopped, it was like they were frozen for a second and then started falling on the floor in different degrees of pain, looking back at Clarke, seeing her coming out of her trance. It was done, it was over. We won.

\- "We did it." -Abby looked around, walking towards Kane who seemed to be just waking up from a nightmare.

\- "Well done, son."

Pike came to me, offering me his hand to stand up; I hesitated, a moment long enough for Pike to be pulled back, raising up to see Y/N dragging him with her as Octavia looked at him with murder in her eyes.

\- "What are you doing?" -Kane spoke now.

\- "Jus drein, jus daun."

Y/N answered him, taking out a knife and easily rendering Pike powerless, pinning his hand to the wall and then the other one with a new knife. She crossed glances with me for just a second; I was not going to stop her, them, but I was afraid of what they'd do and what it'd mean for them as our lives went back to how they used to be. However, I didn't have time to voice my concerns, Y/N piercing Pike's shoulder as she recited something I couldn't understand but Octavia did, nodding at Y/N and raising her sword, quickly driving it through Pike's heart, watching him die there in front of all of us, Abby gasping for a moment as Clarke walked towards us but I stopped her from trying to stop them, Octavia pulling her sword back, watching as his body wanted to fall to the floor because of the gravity but unable to because of Y/N's knives pinning his hands to the wall.

\- "May his soul burn forever in hell."

Y/N pulled her knives from his body, not looking back as Pike hit the floor, his blood on the wall and dropping to the floor as she and Octavia exited the room, Octavia practically running away from them after Y/N told her something, glancing back as if making sure Octavia could go free and unbothered. Something asked me to follow her. So I did.

**\------------**

**YOUR POV**

I doubted anyone would try to prosecute me for what I had done and I wanted to make sure nothing happened to Octavia either so I told her I'd cover her if anything happened, she being quick to leave the Tower. She was all that was left of Lincoln and I was not going to let the person he had loved so deeply get hurt for avenging him. I'd stay in Polis to make sure she'd be okay.

As I moved down the Tower, I realized someone was following me: Bellamy. I wondered why, what could he want from me? Our alliance could end right there, he didn't need to say anything. We had things in common I had come to learn these days we spent together but, if his people couldn't live with mine then there was no point in me trying to be friends with any of them... except for Octavia.

\- "Y/N." -he finally caught up with me as I walked out of the Tower, looking around me and seeing the mess this had caused- "Hey, you okay?"

\- "I'm alive."

\- "That's not really an answer."

\- "You okay? I saw you struggling there for a second."

\- "They were many."

\- "I meant after that."

\- "Oh." -he nodded as he understood what I meant- "I can't say he didn't have it coming."

\- "No harm will come to your sister."

\- "Are you asking or stating."

\- "Stating." -I turned my head to look back around us- "There's a lot of work to do here."

\- "Are you... staying?"

\- "Do I detect in your tone that you want me to?" -I smiled, glancing at him for a moment, seeing I had read him right as he avoided my eyes- "We can be friends, Bellamy; I am staying."

I saw him smile from the corner of my eye, squeezing his arm before I started walking through Polis, trying to see how I could help, finding Octavia who was ahead of me on the task, both of us starting to work together, making sure the people didn't freak out and understood what had happened. It was a long task but we could do it.

After a couple of days, everyone in Polis seemed to be recovering, learning to deal with the pain and the losses that had come in the way, life starting to go back to normal, at least from what I could tell. Bellamy had ended up staying in Polis too, which surprised me for I had never taken him for one to just... _adapt to our ways, I guess._ It was weird. But I was happy he had. I liked him. He had turned out not to be as much of a jerk as his façade had lead me to believe, remembering everything Lincoln had told me about him, telling Bellamy about it for I saw in his eyes knowing what Lincoln thought of him made him feel better, even if just a bit. He and Octavia were mending their relationship, Bellamy trying to forgive himself for his choices and Octavia learning to comprehend that what had truly caused Lincoln's death had been the murderer. I hadn't told them my own ideas, but I was certain that man would have gotten all those people killed -or even more- even if he hadn't been elected Chancellor. It was what weak entitled men did. I had seen it before.

\- "Look who's here."

\- "Yeah, what are you doing here so late?"

I chuckled as Bellamy walked towards me; I had been sat at the fountain, looking up at the sky's changing colors, thinking, knowing I had to go back to my people, not sure if for a long time or forever, but I needed to see them; still, I didn't want to leave without telling Bellamy. It had been well over a month since the fight at the Tower and we had become close friends, as close as Lincoln and I had once been and it had been so easy... I couldn't leave without telling him; it felt wrong.

\- "What are you doing?" -he sat beside me, looking up too- "Deep in thought."

\- "I was." -I licked my lips- "I'm glad you've shown up."

\- "You okay?" -he was quick to focus his eyes on me, so worried, so ready to help... _close friends._

 _-_ "Yeah, but I..." -I sighed, looking away.

\- "You're leaving." -I heard the disappointment in his voice before I saw it in his eyes.

\- "I am."

We stood there, in silence for a while, Bellamy ending up taking my hand in his without saying anything, interlacing my fingers with his. I didn't want to leave him but I had to go. He didn't need me to explain, he didn't make it harder than it was as much as I could tell he wanted to say a lot of things. He stayed with me until the night started to clear the way for sunrise, knowing I had to leave then, not wanting to do it later in the day for the last thing I wanted was to be stopped by anyone.

\- "Y/N...

\- "Bellamy, I..."

We spoke each other's names at the same time after he walked me to my horse; it made me smile, asking him to speak first as I took the reins.

\- "I..." -he bit his tongue and I realized maybe there was still a lot to say between us, but I knew this was not the time- "Have a safe journey." -he nodded, more to himself than for me- "Say hello to Luna for me."

\- "Something tells me she won't really have much to say back."

\- "Yeah." -he chuckled- "You're probably right." -he looked to my horse and then back at me- "What were you going to say?"

\- "I'm going to miss you, I hope you know that."

\- "I'm going to miss you too, Y/N."

I didn't think it twice and hugged him, feeling his arms wrapping around me as soon as my chest hit his, taking in his scent, hiding my face on his neck, closing my eyes. Maybe he meant more to me than I was ready to admit but choosing to enjoy this for as long as I could before I had to pull back; still, as I did, I kissed his cheek, moving to get up on my horse immediately, Bellamy helping me up even if he didn't need to, not saying anything about what had just happened between us, what I was certain we both knew was there, handing me back the reins as I looked down at him. I was really going to miss him.

\- "Y/N, wait." -I had started to move away when he called for me, running up to me- "Take this with you."

I took what he gave me, not having time to open my hand to see what it was and thank him as he patted my horse and took a step back, moving away from him as I opened my hand carefully. It was some kind of necklace with a thing hanging down from it but I couldn't make what it really was, putting it around my neck as I started galloping out of there, knowing that'd be the first time I checked as soon as the sun came up.

**\----------------**

**BELLAMY'S POV**

I hated that Y/N had left, but I understood, which was exactly why I didn't stop her as much as every cell in my body begged me to. I couldn't make her something she wasn't and the thing she was above everything else was a free soul who had wandered around Earth way before I set foot on it, looking for her way, her purpose, a place to call home, and maybe she had found it long before I showed up and maybe we weren't meant to be... So I stood there, watching her go under the night sky's morphing colors, giving her my dog tags, not really expecting her to understand but, for me, it was like giving her my heart. I hoped she'd keep them, wherever she went and even if we never saw each other again as a way to remember me because I knew I wouldn't forget her. You didn't forget someone like Y/N, you just... don't.

Time passed, going back to Arkadia for there wasn't really a reason for me to stay back at Polis, everyone's lives going back to their curse, people moving on and I tried to do the same. But the days urged into each other and at nights I dreamt of Y/N or stayed awake thinking of the nights we'd walk around Polis, talking about it all. I missed her. My heart ached whenever I thought of her. I had hoped it'd get better as the weeks went by but... I wasn't so lucky.

\- "You know what you have to do."

\- "She left, Octavia, I'm not going to ask her to change her whole life for me."

\- "Have you considered changing yours?"

\- "We both know Luna would never take me in, not after all she knows."

I knew Octavia knew and was still trying her best, and I appreciated it, our relationship almost back to how it used to be, only wanting the best for her. That night I couldn't fall asleep, turning in bed time and time again, only one thought in my mind: Y/N. And I couldn't take it any longer. So I decided to do what I had wanted to do so many times: go after her.

I quickly dressed up, not bothering to pack anything with me or pick any weapons, rushing through the corridors, leaving a note in Octavia's room under her door, apologizing for taking Helios, promising her to bring him back as soon as I could, getting to where he was, seeing Octavia had left a bag of carrots there with a note: "Just go." I chuckled as I shook my head, jumping on Helios and getting out of there, knowing the way, having had memorized it from looking at Lincoln's map for way too long every time I thought of doing exactly what I was finally doing.

As I moved through the forest, I got to thinking: maybe she wouldn't want me and all this was for nothing; maybe there had never been anything between us and I had read too much into our time together, into the night she left after hugging me and kissing my cheek but I could still feel all I had felt as her body hit mine and I hadn't wanted to let go; maybe I wouldn't even manage to get to the rig... so many things could go wrong but I knew, deep in my heart, this was what I needed to do.

I got to the beach the following night, for Helios had needed a break as much as I couldn't even pause to think of sleeping, finding something around to eat and drinking from a river close to us. Once I got to the beach, I freed Helios from the chair and allowed him to roam around, knowing he wouldn't leave and, if he did, I knew he'd go back to O. I made the sign with the fire, sitting on the beach, waiting awake, making a fire to stay warm, hoping she'd show up, anyone.... Eventually falling asleep from exhaustion, only able to do it then, knowing I was where I needed to be.

**\-----------------**

**YOUR POV**

I had felt so at home as I set foot on the rig again, Luna coming to greet me, hugging me, and quickly taking me in again. It had felt so right, finding my people again, the pace my soul had grown used to, going to bed in the same place I had for years but still... Bellamy's name hanging from the collar around my neck was heavy, not physically but emotionally. I missed him, I really did. And I wished I had said more that night; I wished he had told me what he really wanted to say.

I spent nights outside, a part of me hoping a green light would show up on the beach, hoping it'd be him but nothing happened for weeks so I eventually gave up, but not my heart or my subconscious through my dreams. Of course not.

\- "You still wear those."

\- "Yeah." -I looked up from my cup to Luna, both of us sat at the top of the rig, overseen the ocean- "He's not as bad as you think."

\- "He can't be so bad if Lincoln thought of him as a friend."

\- "Yeah."

\- "And if you've fallen for him."

\- "I have..."

\- "Y/N, we've known each other for years." -Luna squeezed my shoulder as she stood up- "Have you considered going after him?"

\- "I thought he'd follow me if he loved me but..."

\- "He gave you those;" -she pointed at my chest- "he has to feel something."

\- "How'd you know."

\- "Why else would he gift you anything? Why gift you his name and all that's written there?"

\- "To remember him."

\- "Exactly." -she kissed my head- "And I think it's worked."

Luna left me there, alone with the breeze to think, sighing as I laid on my back, looking at the sky, holding the tags in my hand. I liked my life in the rig but could I live there forever? I had thought I could for a long time but, after I came back from Polis, that thought was more of a thing of the past; I had enjoyed living in the city, helping the people, looking out for each other; Polis had become like the rig but in a bigger, sharper around the edges rig. And I knew I fitted there. But I knew Bellamy belonged in Arkadia. Maybe we were too different. But I wouldn't know unless I tried.

I stood up, going to look for Luna to tell her what I was going to do, picking up my few things and saying goodbye to my oldest friend now, hugging her, smiling as she wished me luck as the boat started to move back to shore, not moving towards the beach but more to the East, towards where a near village kept my horse safe, knowing I'd need him for the journey ahead. A long journey. Before I moved into the forest, I went back to the beach on my horse, wanting to take a final look at the place that had been my home for so long, a bittersweet feeling in my chest as a tear fell down my cheek with the first lights of sunrise. I could always come back. Yeah.

\- "Okay, boy, let's follow my heart this time."

My horse neighed as we moved into the forest, chuckling and getting ready to start galloping when a different horse came to our encounter, making my own stop to greet it.

\- "Helios?"

I furrowed my eyebrows as I recognized Octavia's horse. I hoped everything was okay. I hoped nothing had happened to Octavia and definitively felt a panic settling in my chest as I thought of Bellamy being hurt... or worse. Helios had no chair or reins and started moving away before I could grab him to take him back with me, for I thought he'd had come from somewhere in the forest, following him back to the beach, seeing the place from the fire had been used recently. They were here. At least one of them had to be.

I got down from my horse, leaving it with Helios, walking to the beach, not seeing the boat in the distance, assuming they had to still be here, my heart threatening to jump from my chest as I saw him: Bellamy, curled up on the sand asleep. A smile found its way to my lips, walking up to him, not wanting to wake him up, kneeling beside him, moving the hair away from his face, that face that I had missed more than I had anticipated, going back to my horse and taking a blanket, covering him with it and sitting beside him, watching as the sun started to rise in front of us. And, as I watched the day begin again, the place that had been my home for so long in the distance, glancing back at Bellamy, unable not to smile, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, the warmth of my love for the fallen man from the sky spreading through my chest, I realized, my home was now somewhere else; my home was someone else.

**Author's Note:**

> **.This piece has my whole heart, that's it.**  
> 


End file.
